A New Year’s resolution can bring both excitement and fear. We are excited because we are hopeful about changes and growth. Yet, often there is a fear associated with change because of the possibility of failure. Our kids also experience these same feelings of excitement and fear. We can help ourselves and our kids remove that fear be successful in achieving our resolutions by following a few simple steps.
First, let’s take a look at the 3 main reasons why many people never reach their resolution goals:
- A goal is never really set. Many people examine the things they would like to change, improve, or grow in and have no problems with expressing those ideas. However, until it becomes a goal, complete with steps and a timeline, it is still just a thought. In order to achieve a goal, it is vital to write it down, plan out your sub-goals or steps, and to create a timeline by which you plan to achieve each sub-goal to get to your main goal. Keep this somewhere that you can look at it regularly to keep your goals in mind.
- Your goal is not meaningful, measurable, or realistic. There are many things we may have in our mind that we should do, but it does not have value to us personally. Without having a goal that is significant to us we will lack the passion needed to push through the difficulties in achieving that goal.
- A goal should also be measurable. My father always used to say to me, “Goals worth achieving are never easy”. As an adult I can now see such truth in that. When we work toward our goals, we are going to hit snags and hiccups and times when we are going to want to give up, because it is hard, especially when it comes to long-term goals. However, when you measure your progress toward your goals, you can see how far you have already come and that can help push you through those difficult patches.
When creating your goal, you need to consider if your goal is realistic. Are you giving yourself enough time to reach the goal? Do you have the supplies needed to reach your goal? Have you done the research required?
- You don’t reward yourself. Motivation is a real struggle for most people when working towards a goal. We know that there is something great once we reach the goal, but sometimes that can be too far away to keep us motivated. It is important to reward yourself each step of the way, particularly with each sub-goal so that you can stay motivated. Plan ahead of time what your rewards will be and make sure that it is something you will enjoy and look forward to. Then always keep that reward in your sights to help you stay the course.
Next, let’s talk about how you achieving your goals helps your kids in 3 main ways:
- You’re a role model! When your kids see you setting and achieving goals in the right way, it gives them the confidence to give it a shot as well. It let’s them know that it is possible, and it is a behavior that will help them become successful, just like you. Don’t be afraid to show them or talk to them about times when you have made mistakes along the way or experienced challenges, this will help encourage them as they experience their own challenges.
- Your kids will have confidence in you helping them create their own goals. They have seen you do it, so you are their live-in expert. They are more likely to listen to what you have to say about setting and achieving goals, and they need your help in this. Make sure to talk to them about being flexible and being able to adjust their goals if they hit a snag. Check in with them from time to time and see how they are doing toward reaching their goals to remind them they are important to you too.
- Setting goals in their own life will help them gain a sense of purpose, and this is also great quality time together. You can enrich this process with experiences that can bring their goals to life. These are moments with you that they will cherish as they get older as well.
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