The holidays are here!
It’s my favorite time of the year. The smells from the kitchen, the lights, the decorations, family all together laughing and having fun, and traditions passed down from generation to generation. Everyone I run into seems a little more joyful and kind. However, the holidays aren’t so joyful for everyone. In fact, holidays can be a trigger of something sad or even traumatic for some people. Some people have lost loved ones around the holiday time, or are having a tough time not having them to join in the festivities they once did. Others, may remember a past experience that was not so joyous. This can be particularly true with foster or adopted children. Some are experiencing financial hardships that may make them feel stressed or sad. Some are dealing with family problems such as divorce, separation, custody battles, etc. Some of our very own friends and family, and maybe even ourselves are dealing with some less that happy feelings during this holiday season. While we can’t avoid those feelings, we need to find a way to manage them in a healthy way, or to help our friends and families as they manage their feelings.
First, let’s talk about the glaring truth that some people try to self-medicate those feelings away with drugs and/or alcohol. That may help them to temporarily “check-out”, but it doesn’t remove the problems and it doesn’t fix the feelings. Unfortunately, what ends up happening is the problems that never went away, are often compounded and made far worse with drugs and alcohol. So what is the answer? How can we get through this in a healthy way? What can we do to help others who are struggling? While there is no cookie-cutter response to any of those questions, there are several things you can try.
So, let’s say that your friend or your family member is the one you are concerned about. Here are some things you can do to help them during this tough time:
- Talk to them and LISTEN. Ask them how they are doing. Acknowledge that you see that this is a hard time for them.
- Ask what you can do for them.
- Invite them to join you for the holidays.
- Check in on them regularly. Don’t simply say, let me know if I can do anything, because most people won’t let you know. Call them or stop by on a regular basis and look for ways to help.
- Find and recommend possible resources. Sometimes a professional is needed, like a therapist for example. Many times people may acknowledge the need for additional help but won’t seek it out. One way you can help is to provide the information for the help needed, maybe even offer to call and set up the appointment for them if needed.
- Most importantly let them know you care about them, that they are important to you, and that you want to be there for them and help them in any way you can.
What about you? What if you are the one who is dreading the holidays and what they may include for you? Here are some ideas of things that may be helpful:
- Tell someone. Tell someone you trust what you are feeling. Sometimes something as simple as talking about it can help a lot. Friends and family may be able to understand and offer a listening ear and some words of encouragement that could be just the boost you need.
- Ask for help. You don’t have to go through this alone. Most of the time your friends and family want to help but don’t know what they can do to help you. Tell them what you need. Maybe it is a night out of the house, or a night spent together with them. Whatever the case is, don’t be afraid to ask.
- Help someone else. The brain is a funny thing, and often helping others even when we feel like we can’t help ourselves is just the trick to get the brain feeling good again. It helps to keep from dwelling on circumstances, and makes us feel good to give and do for others.
- Join a support group. There are so many people that are going through a tough time during the holidays and talking to other people who know what you’re going through can give you a support like no other.
- Seek out resources. Maybe talking to friends or family or joining a support group isn’t enough. Some things require professional help and that’s ok. It shows a great strength to recognize that you need help and an even greater strength to reach out to get it. Therapists can be a great resource for you during this difficult time and they can help you find ways to work through what you are facing.
- Never, ever give up. Going through a difficult time is…HARD, but you can do hard things. There are people out there willing to help. There are resources available. There are LOTS of alternatives to drugs and alcohol. There is a light to the end of the tunnel. Your job to get there is to keep on going, keep pushing, and never give up. Sometimes you may need to take things day by day and just get through each day, maybe sometimes it’s minute by minute and just get through each minute, but you can get through this.
If you or someone you love is struggling to get through the holiday blues, visit our resource page. You can also check out the list of local treatment resources below:
Charlotte Behavioral Health Care 1700 Education Punta Gorda, FL 33950
941-639-8300, or TOLL FREE: 1-877-703-526
Northside Psychiatric Services (Charlotte Behavioral Health Care subsidiary in Port Charlotte) 1032 Tamiami Trail #7, Port Charlotte, FL 33953
941-764-7988
Southwest Florida Counseling Center 1777 Tamiami Trail, Port Charlotte, FL 33948
941-249-4354
BayFront Health Medical Detox (age 18 or older) BayFront Health Punta Gorda
941-637-3120
Operation PAR – Medication Assisted Patient Services – Charlotte County Satellite Office Grand Oaks Plaza 11, 946 Tamiami Trail Unit 201, Port Charlotte
239-656-7700
Drug Recovery Initiative – Charlotte County Sheriff Office and Charlotte Behavioral Health Care (Individuals can go to any CCSO office and request substance abuse treatment – assistance and entrance into a treatment facility will be provided)