As I browse through my TimeHop app and see pictures of my children just a few years ago, I am painfully aware that I have fewer and fewer years left with my kids before they are grown and ready to fly out of the nest. I swear it was just yesterday I was holding their hand to cross the street and reading them bedtime stories as I tucked them in. Now we have somehow morphed to cell phones and school sports. Our conversations used to be about princesses and tea parties, and now it’s about boys and friends….and yes even the dreaded “D” word….Drugs. I used to think those parents that would say “I blinked, and they grew up” were super cliché. However, I’m here to tell you it’s real…DON’T BLINK.
Okay, okay, I know we must blink, and breathe, and live life, and even let our kids do the same. So, as we navigate those in between years where our kids are old enough to cross the street without us, and maybe even hang with friends without constant parent supervision, we need to set clear boundaries and expectations. Do you have clear and firm rules set up in your house regarding drugs and alcohol? Do your kids know those rules? Do your kids understand the why behind the rules? Do your kid’s friends know the rules? What do the parents of your kid’s friends think about your rules and are their rules the same?
Phew, that was so many questions I had a flashback to the last few minutes before I would tuck my kids into bed a few years ago. In all seriousness though, setting rules about drugs and alcohol is something many parents overlook, thinking that their kids just know that it’s not okay. Well, while it seems common sense to us adults, our kids still need that extra guidance. Here’s a few tips on putting rules in place in your home.
- Be clear, be firm, be consistent. Plan a family meeting so that everyone knows that this is something that is important. Write the rules down and discuss them as a family. Make sure that the rules are very clear with no room for confusion. Make sure they understand that the rules are firm and that the consequences discussed will be enforced. Be consistent and not wishy washy about how you feel about your child using drugs or alcohol. Make sure your children express to you their understanding of the rules before the family meeting is over.
- Give them the WHY. Kids, especially teens, are naturally curious. If you tell them the reasons behind your rules it will help them to be more inclined to follow that rule. Let them know how drugs and alcohol can affect their brain development, affect their grades, change their interests, cause them to make poor decisions, and put them in danger. Don’t forget to tell them that you are setting these rules most of all because you love and care about them.
- Talk to your kid’s friends about the rules. Make sure they know your rules if they are coming to your home or spending time with your child unsupervised. You may get to know more about how those friends feel about drugs and alcohol too, or even some things about the kids your child might be spending time with.
- Talk to your kid’s friend’s parents. Ask them about what kind of drug and alcohol rules they have in their house and tell them what your rules are too. This could potentially help you to determine your level of comfort about your child spending time there.
- Remind them often. Kids forget, but most of all if you are reminding them it lets them know you mean it and it’s important.
For more information and parent tools visit our webpage: www.drugfreecharlottecounty.org