“I’m bored”. The dreaded summer whining that parents everywhere are trying to avoid hearing at least for the first few weeks of summer. There’s always “those parents” who seem to have every moment of summer booked with life changing enrichment activities, but most of the rest of us are just struggling through trying to find some sort of balance between work, kids, and the chaos that summer brings.
The truth is we actually look forward to summer, because every year we convince ourselves that this summer we will be prepared – and we are prepared… ridiculously prepared…. for the whole first day of summer. And then reality happens. We still have jobs and every other responsibility we had before summer began.
So, begins the next stage of summer that so quickly follows the “I’m bored” stage…It’s the “can I” stage. This is where you are suddenly bombarded with where they want to go and who they want to go with. This is very gray territory here. On the one hand… you are ready to allow them to take an unsupervised trip out of the country – if it means you don’t have to go back to the first stage of summer… But… on the other hand, you realize your child is still a child, even though they don’t seem to realize that anymore.
So, before you give your child an answer, it may be time to talk about some limits and expectations, as well a backup plan.
First… yes, it is ok to monitor your child’s activities…ask where they are going, who will be there… what they will be doing… and who is driving. Will they roll their eyes at you and act completely annoyed? Probably. But they will get over it.
Next, if you are comfortable with their answers and decide to let them go… make sure they know what type of behavior and choices you expect them to make while you’re not around. And… don’t be afraid to be specific like “No drugs, alcohol, or tobacco”.
Lastly, talk about what they can use as a backup plan. Even the best of kids can find themselves in an unexpected situation (like being offered drugs or alcohol). Talk about how they will get out of it – what they will specifically say. Remember that saving face is one of the most important things to most teens, so you need to help them identify an “out” they are comfortable saying to their friends.
Hopefully, these steps will help you get to stage 3 of summer… That blissful stage where everyone is happy and enjoying summer, just the way you had imagined… 0k…well, close enough.
For more resources and information about talking with your child about alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs, visit us online at www.drugfreecharlottecounty.org. And be sure to follow us on Facebook – www.facebook.com/drugfreecharlottecounty, and on Twitter @DFCCTweets.