As some things are going back to normal, it seems that nothing is the same. As parents, we worry. We worry about our jobs, the economy, bills, the pandemic, the list goes on and on, but we probably worry the most about our children. Our children have worries too. Our kids worry about what the new school year will look like, will they be going to school from home or be able to see their friends, will they need to wear masks, will they be in one classroom all day, will they be able to take the classes they need to graduate, will they have testing or not….We may not have all the answers, but we can be there for our kid’s worries, and help them to stay grounded during this time of unknowns. Here are some tips to helping our kids manage their own worries:
- Model healthy coping behaviors. It is important to share with our children that we too have worries and show them healthy ways that you deal with worries. When your children see you modeling healthy behaviors, they are more likely to engage in those same healthy behaviors as well.
- Listen. Let your kids express what they are worried about. As much as you may want to interject or tell them that their worries are minor issues, hold back and just listen. What they are worried about is big to them, if we try to minimize that then they are most likely to shut down and become defensive while they feel that you don’t understand them.
- Comfort them. We may want to use the box phrases and tell them that everything will be fine and that they need not worry, but the truth will be a much more appreciated response. You can say to them that you don’t know what changes you will see in the future, but that you will be there beside them to help them through whatever may come up. You can remind them of their support system of family or friends. You can discuss things that you know won’t be changing. You can talk about things that they are looking forward to doing once they are able to do so.
- Keep them informed. If your kids are anything like mine, you have already found out that their friends know EVERYTHING, and they like to share this information with your kids, whom take it as set in stone facts. The bottom line is our kids are information seekers. Their brains are rapidly growing. They want to know what is happening around them. Rather than waiting for your kids to get possible inaccurate information from friends that may cause more worry, talk to them about truthful information in an age appropriate way. It may be beneficial to give your children small amounts of information at a time so that they have time to process that information, but no one knows your child better than you, so consider what you feel will be best for your child.
- Practice stress relieving skills together. Worry = Stress. Think about some stress relieving activities you may want to do together. Perhaps you want to learn a new hobby together, get creative, start a journal (you can even write to each other in a journal…sometimes this is a good way for kids to get their thoughts and feelings out as they have more time to process and express), get active (bike, swim, walk, run, workout videos, yoga, dancing, boxing, soccer, basketball, baseball, whatever activity you enjoy), get out in nature, find a way to laugh (read goofy jokes, sing everything instead of saying it, watch comedy, play in the rain, create funny videos together, etc.), breathing techniques, sensory activities, listen to your favorite music, cook together, whatever you choose, the idea is that it helps relieve stress and when you are doing it together you are building family bonds as well.
Jen Bernardi, Prevention Program Coordinator, Drug Free Charlotte County
For more tools and tips visit us online at www.drugfreecharlottecounty.org or follow us on social media:
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